High levels of sexual assault and family violence will prevail as long as a tolerator culture persists. Men who care deeply about the women and girls in their lives – mothers, daughters, partners and friends – need to recognise that other men are violent (physically, emotionally and psychologically) towards other women and girls. Silence, defensiveness and passivity… acts as potent cultural affirmation. When men in every sphere of leadership – political, corporate, workplace and community – acknowledge the violence of other men as their issue and show they are prepared to change the attitudes and behaviours of their male peers, the tolerator fabric will wear thin. Rest assured, all of society can only benefit.